PUFF, PUFF, PASS… Squid was chillaxing in the lair, trying to get over being ignored after offering to guest star in the Monterey Bay Aquarium’s new “Tentacles” exhibit. Since nothing chillaxes Squid more than watching the news, Squid flipped over to KSBW. And hilarity ensued.
On April 4, Salinas Police found an indoor marijuana grow with more than 500 plants crammed into a tiny house. As a public service, KSBW set out to inform viewers by running “The five signs you are living next door to a marijuana-growing house.” Sign one: strange and numerous electrical cords are connected. And there might be power surges too. Sign two: a slight humming sound comes from the house. Sign three: friends repeatedly enter and leave the garage. Sign four: security bars and windows…
At that point, Squid throws up the tentacles, because really, KSBW could be describing almost any house, anywhere. Instead of profiling the average Salinas lifestyle (ok, maybe the humming is weird, but hey, it could be chorus practice) Squid recommends this: Look for the lawn littered with empty Doritos bags and Taco Bell wrappers. Because as most people know, nothing covers up the stench of weed like a bag of Doritos.
BOARD TO DEATH… Squid turns to friends in the legal field whenever Squid’s trying to understand documents filled with dreaded legalese. One of the problems with having a donut-shaped brain, Squid’s discovered, is gobbledygook words like hitherto and ipso facto just slip right through the hole.
Squid understands many people have the same kind of problem, which is why Squid wants to cut the board members of Seaside Civic League – the nonprofit corporation that owns embattled housing complex Del Monte Manor – a wee bit of slack.
It turns out when board president Norah Saffold called off last week’s board meeting for lack of a quorum (which appeared untrue in the moment), he was actually right: Not only were there too few board members present, there were actually zero board members present. And apparently, there haven’t been for years.
See, Squid’s learned the Civic League board has been acting as the board for both Del Monte Manor and adjacent Villa Del Monte (which it also owns). But the board’s bylaws call for a separate, three-member board to oversee Del Monte Manor. Squid’s happy to hear of several meetings in the coming weeks to discuss the recent issues, which include a conflict with the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development (HUD subsidizes rent for some low-income residents) that runs so deep, threats of litigation are running wild.
Because if Del Monte Manor’s current management is making it go broke, Squid thinks it’s high time to bring in the pros.
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