SQUID FRY 01.23.14 - Make It Rain…

MAKE IT RAIN… Squid has long been an advocate of group showering. So Squid didn’t need the recent announcement from Gov. Jerry “Moon River” Brown – “I’ve declared this emergency and I’m calling all Californians to conserve water in every way possible” – to start conserving water.

BTW, as model Squitizen 1A, Squid goes beyond heroic “friendly showers.” As fun as they are, Squid limits those showers to one or two a week. Squid also urinates on Squid’s landscaping (two-for-one!). And Squid has a gray water system taking washing machine water to fruit trees.

Meanwhile, Squid and Squid’s neighbors have been waiting with baited – and dry – breath for months and years for word on the implications of our increasingly dire water shortage. Will Squid have to wash Squid’s clothes – and dishes – while showering with friends? Collect saliva to wash the beloved 1956 Squidmobile?

For the moment, Brown’s declaration imposes no mandates on individual users, but does call for a 20 percent reduction throughout the state, directing districts to implement their local shortage contingency plans immediately. For locals, that includes strict schedules on when to water outdoors. (Get more at www.mcweekly.com/news.)

Other locals are handling it differently. Astrologer Joyce Day Meuse leads a rain dance 5pm Monday, Jan. 27, at the Pacific Grove Monday Farmers Market. The flyer: “We can’t make it rain,’ said the Governor… or can we?”

All are encouraged to bring drums and natural rhythm instruments. Cal-Am will bring conservation tips and devices. Squid will bring the shower sign-up sheet.

Troubled Waters… Heard about Bridge-Gate? It’s that scandal involving Jersey state Gov. Chris Christie. The gov’s top aides orchestrated traffic jams at the George Washington Bridge and withheld Hurricane Sandy funds to punish Christie’s political rivals.

Squid’s tentacles don’t usually reach all the way out to the land of tanning beds, but Carmel restaurateur Richard Pepe emailed the Weekly offering insights on the matter. Pepe knows both Mayor Mark Sokolich of Fort Lee and Mayor Dawn Zimmer of Hoboken, two officials in the midst of this mess. This qualifies him for punditry on Matters East Coast.

“Christie has been a very good governor for the state,“ Pepe says. “It seems the media is really on this witch hunt.”

In the East Coast, underhanded deals are “just the way politics roll,” Pepe says. Out here on the West Coast, it’s “completely different.”

That’s right! Unless you count the investigation into Monterey County’s closed-room performance evaluations. And the new Jose Castañeda scandal that reeks of political pettiness. All of which went down this week.

Alright Jersey, Squid apologizes. We got our problems too. But at least Bon Jovi is still all yours.