As usual, you will not need your brain for most of the summer movie season. Assembling this list of what’s opening May 5-July 21 is an annual exercise in familiarity, as sequels, franchise properties and R-rated comedies are clearly en vogue with moviegoers. Originality is only welcome in bits and pieces.
Thankfully, though this lighthearted look at what’s to come from May through July begins with the current God of the Box Office, Marvel Studios, it ends with Christopher Nolan.
Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
Peter Quill/Star-Lord (Chris Pratt) seeks his father with the help of the Guardians and an awesome soundtrack in this sequel to the breakout 2014 hit. Director James Gunn said there are five post-credit scenes, which seems excessive, but if it’s half as fun as the 2014 original, we won’t be able to get enough.
King Arthur: Legend of the Sword
On the one hand, it’s another King Arthur movie. On the other, it’s a Guy Ritchie flick. If he can breathe life into Sherlock Holmes, imagine what he could do here.
Snatched
Goldie Hawn returns to the big screen for the first time since The Banger Sisters (2002) alongside Amy Schumer in this comedy. The trailers don’t look that funny, but Schumer is talented and we know how great Hawn can be. Or was.
Alien: Covenant
Prometheus (2012) was a mess, so here’s hoping Alien director Ridley Scott is back on track.
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales
Oh god, another one? Rumor has it this is more of a personal journey for Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp), which may help us give a damn. Emphasis on may.
Baywatch
The TV show gets big-screen treatment. Expect big, dumb action and explosions involving pretty people trying to avoid the worst catastrophe of all: something happening to their faces.
Wonder Woman
It’s an origin story that shows how Wonder Woman (Gal Gadot) got to Earth. Please, Patty Jenkins (Monster), salvage what you can of the DC Comics Extended Universe. Don’t let Zack Snyder (Batman v. Superman) ruin it for all of us.
The Mummy
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, thousands of years ago. When an ancient princess is awakened from her tomb, the end of the world is nigh. It’s up to Tom Cruise to save the day.
Cars 3
It probably isn’t your favorite Pixar franchise (ahem – Toy Story), but the trailer makes this look like a serious sports drama as racecar Lightning McQueen (Owen Wilson) gets in a horrible accident. Intriguing.
Rough Night
It’s a bawdy comedy starring Scarlett Johansson, Kate McKinnon and Zoe Kravitz at a bachelorette party in Miami with a dead male stripper. Girls have been bad at bachelorette parties before, but this cast can’t help but get you excited.
Transformers: The Last Knight
How have we not had enough of this already? Oh yeah: The four franchise movies have earned more than $1.3 billion domestically since Transformers bowed in July 2007, so expect more of the same bigger, louder and boom! that director Michael Bay does so well.
Baby Driver
The buzz on this film, written and directed by Edgar Wright (Hot Fuzz), is through the roof. It’s about a getaway driver whose music becomes the soundtrack to the action scenes, and word is it’s an absolute blast.
Despicable Me 3
Gru (Steve Carell) reunites with his long-lost brother Dru (Carell again) to stop an ’80s-obsessed villain (Trey Parker). To their credit, it seems like Illumination Entertainment is trying to appeal to adults as well as kids.
The House
Will Ferrell and Amy Poehler are two of the funniest people alive. Seeing them start an illegal casino in their basement to fund their daughter’s college? Yes, please.
Spider-Man: Homecoming
The Marvel Cinematic Universe keeps truckin’… Now new Spider-Man (Tom Holland) gets his own movie, with Michael Keaton as the villainous Vulture.
War for the Planet of the Apes
In this sequel, ape Caesar (Andy Serkis) is leading his army against dumb humans – and also studying for a PhD in international diplomacy.
Dunkirk
It’s director Christopher Nolan’s (Inception) take on the famous World War II battle, starring Tom Hardy and Mark Rylance. Nolan’s movies usually end up among the best of the year, so I can’t wait.